The Mystery of Purity
Growing up, I often wondered what purity looked like. I assumed it was this supernatural state of perfection that could only be reached by not dating. And so, I decided that I wasn’t going to date anyone until God sent the right man into my life – the man that I would marry. However, as I grew older, I learned that purity wasn’t just “not dating.”
A lot of things influenced my decision not to date – I read “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy among dozens of other books about relationships and purity. I watched my teen and pre-teen friends go through more damaging relationships than I could count. And I prayed a lot.
As an innocent 14-year-old, I thought it would be easy. I’d meet Mr. Right in some perfect way when I was nineteen, and we’d have a lovely courtship. Then we’d get married after an appropriate span of time (two years)…and then we’d live happily ever after!
It didn’t take long before I became a little (okay, maybe a LOT) disillusioned. Seriously. The young men I knew just weren’t marriageable material! Sometime around the age of 21, I despaired a little. A couple of years after that, I resigned myself to being an old maid. I was still determined to hold tight to my commitment to purity, though.
That is when I started to wonder what this mysterious “purity” actually was. I began to realize that it is a lot more than just “not dating.”
The Art of Purity
A basic definition of purity is “freedom from contamination.”
It wasn’t until I realized that purity was a lost art that I began to understand what it meant for me. I grew up, out of the innocence of childhood and realized that purity goes straight against the grain of today’s culture. The culture we live in today says “Go ahead! Experiment! Be in romantic relationships and explore each other!” It’s not uncommon for today’s 14-year-olds to be not only sexually aware, but sexually active.
But this experimentation and exploration contaminates the soul. It changes our focus from becoming the best versions of ourselves to attempting to be whatever our peers pressure us into. As I entered my early twenties, I found out that “being pure” was way more than not dating. It was a whole attitude and lifestyle. It meant making the choice to say no to the late night walks on the levee and long car rides alone with my guy friends.
Was I perfect? No. In fact, I tripped and stumbled all along the way. I made mistakes, sometimes got hurt, sometimes hurt others. But overall, my journey was one of growth and discovery as I learned with each mistake how to be a better woman. And now, many years later, I’m a better wife for it. Just in case you were wondering, I did indeed end up marrying my very first boyfriend. That story is coming soon!
Purity (sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally) is an art. It is a choice to be different from everyone around you. No matter where you are now, you can choose a different path. I chose the path of purity when I was very young, and it has been a blessing to my marriage. But, it doesn’t matter if you’re not 13 (or 10 these days!). You can still change your habits and choose to make your life a canvas of purity.
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